Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Tears That Turned Into Courage

  I mustered all the courage in me to write this. I didn't feel like sharing it or beg for anyone's pity. But I realized by sharing this, I am not only raising awareness but hopefully putting out a message out there where everyone can learn from. Women shouldn't be treated like this and men need to start standing up for what's right and do the right thing as well. 

We've heard different stories especially since quite recently different men and women have started to raise awareness on the #metoo campaign. Different stories that speak of how they were looked at or touched in an inappropriate and sexual way. It saddens me that this happens to different people. It happens to anyone at anytime, and everywhere. I have experienced this myself countless times. Just to give everyone a picture? Let me share some of those instances. 

1. I just came down from the bus in town (alabang town center) to get to my ballet rehearsals. It was about 6:00pm and the studio is just walking distance from the mall. I was on the sidewalk right outside the mall, in a rush to get to the studio. While I was walking, about 4 men (keep in mind they were 4 separate men. They weren't together in any way) looked at me inappropriately. In a span of less than 10 minutes, already 4 men looked at me that way. What's worse is one of them was an old man who looked at me very inappropriately and stuck out his tongue in a sexual way. I was so in shock I didn't know what to do and I just walked past him and tried to get to where I was going as quickly as I can. I was in tears after that and tried to suck it up before coming to class. 

2. I was on the same sidewalk outside the mall. It was around early afternoon. First, a group of men walked passed by me and looked back at me. They were starring at me from head to toe inappropriately. I walked past it and as I thought that was the last of the day, another man looked at me. Not only did he do that, he also said "Hello bebe" or something like that. There were quite a few people there and a security guard nearby (the entrance for the department store employees) so I took my chance and spoke up. I couldn't take it anymore because it's been happening quite frequently so I spoke. I said "ano kuya? Bakit ba? Alam mo ba na bastos yang ginagawa mo?" He got scared and to my surprise entered the entrance for the employees. And as expected the guard just looked at me and looked at him and did not take any action. I was in tears afterwards not knowing what to do or how it could stop. 

3. On the same sidewalk. I was walking and suddenly a police car which was going on a normal speed started to slow down when it came near me and honked. Yes, it was a police car with actual policemen inside. This actually happened twice but on different days. The second time it happened, not only did the car slow down and honk at me, the police man also winked at me. I was in tears again after those instances. I felt so helpless. I just kept praying and asking for comfort. How are those men who are supposedly the one you're reporting it to, are actually the ones doing it? 

Take note that in the first story, I was already wearing a big sweater and jeans. For the second one, I was wearing a jacket over my shirt and jeans as well. Too hot to wear those but isn't it saddening that even with those outfits these things still happen? Keep in mind that these are only four of the many experiences I have. It happens all the time, at any place. It is so heartbreaking because those people have mothers, daughters, sisters, and wives. How can they do such things to other women? 

After this series of happenings, I started to add something in my prayer list. I started to pray for peace for myself and all the men and women who experience the same things. I started to pray for more Godly men who know how to look away. I started to pray for the men and women who will teach and lead the next generation into doing the right thing. I started to pray for those men and women who continue to do such things. Lord give them the right state of mind. Let us always be vigilant, stand up for what's right, and influence people to do what is right. Always always pray. 

Sunday, October 16, 2016

To The Ambitious Ones and Over Achievers

   As your heart trembles and doubts, remember you are not alone. You get through the day, the week, the month, thankfully even the whole year. There are big hopes and dreams that fill your head but you never know if they'll ever actually be in your future. You strive to be the best and try to grow as much as you can. In your academics, extra-curricular activities, as well as the different roles you have in every aspect of your life. Do this, do that. Be this, be that. Despite the quiet whispers of the world, you try to be smart enough not to listen. But I guess you just have this feeling the only way you'll reach for the stars is by listening to those nonsense distractions.

   Let me tell you this, don't try to meet this world's standards. Instead, make your own. Don't try to define yourself by what other people can do better than you. If you focus too much on that, you will miss out on the actual gift you were meant to enhance. Every individual has their own purpose and no matter how redundant it may seem, this is the truth. Why rush and follow this world's time table for you when you can follow a more adventurous one? The exciting thing is, God is full of surprises. Although sometimes it may seem like a hassle because you want everything to be planned out. You want to be prepared. But if we plan every single detail of our lives, how will we make way for God's plans in every nook and corner of our lives? Ask God why you are where you are and figure out what your purpose is according to him. And I am 100% sure that his plan is greater than what we had in mind. Honestly, it's okay not to have everything planned out or even sorted out. Even though this means your OC/ambitious self would get irritated. This doesn't mean you would stop trying and just let everything work out by itself. Don't stop! Work hard and keep going! Just remember why you are doing it and who you are trying to please. To all the ambitious, do not worry too much about the future. It is totally okay for you not be good at everything, as much as you want to. Don't linger on the those things you can't do. Focus on your purpose. Your work is enough, God will do the rest.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Matthew 6:25-27

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Unsatisfying Love

[So I made this awhile back and I wasn't sure at first if I was going to share it but here it is. I enjoy writing but I know there are a lot of things to work on. These were just thoughts I put in to writing. It's always good to practice right?]


this whole world is so consumed about the idea of love


in a world full of wrong we crave it so much thinking it will make wrong right


looking for the perfect soul 


why are humans so consumed about the idea of love in someone's arms? No wait, scratch that. Why is THIS GENERATION so absorbed with love at the completely wrong time?


why do we drown ourselves in thoughts and emotions that are made up of nothing but the self-centered acts of countless people


be cautious, fragile one


 What's the rush? 
Know that there's a right time for everything and this is not the time


if you only knew. 
If you only knew that the kind of love that died for you way back is enough




I am saying this today with a dart in my heart knowing the neglectful minds of our youth  


Okay, maybe we should be so consumed about love after all.  Not the self-absorbed kind of love that happens to fall in the completely wrong places of your life, 

but the sacrificial love no one can compare to. So maybe there is a perfect soul after all


when will you realize? 


how beauiful it is when you're smart enough to focus on the only love that matters.